Who Am I??

In the Past few weeks I have seen some very eye opening things about myself, some I like and some… not so much. It has made me realise that I need to change and appreciate more who I have in my life. That I need to realise that everything that I now do affects my children and if I want to be successful (I do, I do) then things need to change. In order to change, I am writing how I would like to be living in 5 year’s time.

In 5 years’ time I would like to be happily living as Mr and Mrs in our own house which we have mortgaged. Decorated to my standard with the Cutest Furniture, A BIG garden for the Boys with a tree house they can play in. I would have an office, which was organised to perfection and colour coordinated to which jobs on which days. A schedule to which I keep to everyday and a cleaner that pops round once a week.

My Business will be successful in a way I will enjoy and I will still have time to do the fun things that mummy’s do like cuddles and hot chocolate with a Film or going and seeing the Stinky animals at the Farm. I find having my boys has made me vulnerable, I miss the old me where I trusted no one unless proven otherwise and wasn’t trampled on like a Door mat. I would like to think my presence will be more of a professional front than the immature and worried nature I am finding I am clinging to, and I will be more certain of who I am. Who am I??

We will have taken our boys to meet Mickey Mouse in the Florida sun, and I could dance with Prince Charming like I did as a child, apart from now I have my own real life Prince charming.*cue sick bucket!

I would like to be in a nice Stable place when I could occasionally go out and treat myself to a sexy pair of designer shoes and every desert had something from Marks and Spencer’s.



I very much think at the moment things can only get better, after all Life is how you make it.

Dear Hannah...

Dear Hannah...

My my haven't you changed over the years, you went from no responsibilities and having silly fun in the woods with your friends and hanging on park benches <--- which was not very clever was it! To carrying a little being growing inside you.. you were still at school, the teachers said you and Andrew wouldn't make it, your school work had dropped and was rubbish and other including family said that you were to selfish and irresponsible to have a child

Well Didn't we show them!!

you came out of school we 2Bs 2Cs and 5Ds a big achievement from what was intended, but the big prize was that we grew and made a beautiful little boy!! yes it was hard with the stares and the judgement I know you still find it hard now when people ask if he is your brother,

Who would of thought we would be here down the line nearly 6 years later still wit Andrew, having a hyperactive 3 year old who we couldn't ooze any more love for and catering another growing little boy in the womb once more.. oh and K will make a fabulous big brother stop worrying!!! 

I am glad you are going to try and breastfeed again, I am sorry things didn't work out last time, I wish I had given you more confidence and more back bone.. it's okay we will give it our BEST shot this time! The main thing you need to remember is YOU are the MUMMY and you know best!

Now stop hiding in the house all the time and go and see your friends.. it's saddens me that you have lost so much of yourself so go and FIND HER!

Lots of Love Hannah Xx